Jamie

P. J. and I were stunned when Lori came home a few weeks ago and announced that she and Jayden had started dating. We both sat down with her and talked about what she was doing but she seemed damned determined that she was doing the right thing.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of Jayden. From what I've seen of him so far, he's a typical jock who has chicks all over him on a pretty regular basis. I can't figure out what sparked his interest in Lori. The other girls I've seen him out with were much more feminine. Lori says they have a lot in common and spend most of their time talking about sports. That is probably true, but I don't understand why he started coming around after almost a year of us being friends with Brandi. And, I don't understand Lori's sudden interest in being with a guy. She has always had girlfriends. The only thing I can come up with is that she is trying to get back in her parents good graces.

Regards of what is really going on, P. J. and I are trying to be there for Lori. We don't want her to believe we will stop being her friend just because she's dating a guy. We both really like Lori. She's fun to hangout with and much smarter than she gives herself credit for.

Brandi and Kayla, however, are having a much harder time with Lori switching teams. Kayla, I know is having a hard time because she has a crush on Lori. Brandi is just flat pissed off because she switched teams, especially with her brother.

All of this drama just really sucks, especially since we are coming into the holiday season. Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away. P. J. and I are going home to visit our parents. We are actually going to stay at P. J.'s parents house because my mother is still not comfortable with us sleeping together in my old room. I may actually spend one night over there so I can have a good long visit with her and Dad. They both still make P.J. uncomfortable.

After Thanksgiving, we will all be cramming for finals and we are planning to have a small Christmas party at our apartment with some of out other gay friends. It's going to be interesting to see how that party goes. There will be a few other straight couples there who are also our friends, but there are going to be some other lesbians there who are not going to be happy about Lori switching teams. We'll just have to see how things go.

Kayla

I had my back turned to the door when Lori came in. Jamie and I were sitting on the couch with my laptop working on our homework for English. Jamie looked over her shoulder. "Hey, Lori."

"Hey," Lori said. She dropped her backpack next to the loveseat and then plopped down on it.

I could feel her staring at me but I was not going to look at her. She had broken the cardinal lesbian rule, as far as I was concerned, and started dating a guy, an arrogant jackass at that. I know I shouldn't say that about a friend's brother, but Brandi's brother, Jayden is a jerk and I personally think he's just dating Lori to say he converted a lesbian.

And, I was mad at myself for letting myself develop a crush on her. I should have know better. She will not ever be attracted to someone like me. I'm just a computer geek.

"Whatchya guys doing?" Lori asked leaning over and looking at the screen.

"Homework," I said, a little more snippy than I had intended.

Jamie and Lori both gave me a questionig look. Lori sat back. "Sorry I asked."

I wasn't going to apologize. In fact, I needed to get out of her presence. "I need to get home," I said and started to get up.

Jamie pulled me back down and gave me a stern look. "We have to finish this." She looked at Lori. "We're working on the essay about Homer. Have you finished yours?"

"Mostly, Jayden helped me with it."

I pulled deeper within myself and bit my lip from making a smart-aleck comment.

I could see Lori studying me out of the corner of my eye. "I'm going to go fix myself something to eat," she said and got off the loveseat.

I didn't look up when she walked out of the room. I kept my eyes on the computer screen and typed some more information into the essay.

"What is your problem?" Jamie hissed.

"What?" I said evasively.

"You have been hateful to her for almost two weeks." I didn't say anything. Jamie took hold of my chin and made me look at her. "You really did like her, didn't you," she whispered.

I gave a slight nod and looked away.

Jamie sighed."Okay, let's wrap this up for today. We'll work on it again tomorrow at school.

"I'll work on it some more at home," I said. I saved what we had done and shut off my laptop. Jamie was still giving me a questioning look. I leaned closer and said quietly, "I'm having a hard time with her dating Jayden. I can't believe she switched teams."

Jamie nodded and looked toward the kitchen where Lori was making a bunch of noise fixing something to eat. "Me neither. I honestly don't think it will last. I think she is very confused right now and we need to be here for her."

I gritted my teeth but nodded. Jamie was right. We were supposed to be Lori's friends. I really should try to understand what she might be going through. It's not her fault I developed a stupid crush on her. "I still need to go though. I'm supposed to cook dinner for everyone tonight."

"Okay," Jamie said. She got up off the couch too and walked with me to the door. She gave my back a light rub and said. "I'll see you in the morning."

"See ya then," I said and left the apartment. I walked slowly to my car. I really needed to think about finding someone to date instead of obsessing over Lori. It would never work between us anyway.

I put my backpack in the backseat, crawled into the driver's seat, and called one of the guys from my computer class. When he answered I said, "Hey, it's Kayla. Do you remember telling me about that chick from the computer lab that you said I should hook up with?" He said he did. "She still interested?"

Lori

What P.J. said about needing to get laid made me wonder why I hadn't done that for awhile. I've had several hot girls after me but I just wasn't interested. I'm not really sure what is wrong with me. I'm enjoying my time hanging out with Jayden and he's hinted around several times that he'd like to date me. Strangely, I've actually considered it. It's not like I haven't had boyfriends before. I dated guys until I was a senior in high school and Marianne Wesley blew my mind by French kissing me on a dare at a party. I can't say that I didn't enjoy having sex with a guy, although the first time with Tommy Engles had sucked pretty good.

I've been feeling this restless yearning for something that seems to be just beyond my reach. I don't know if it's because I miss being at home or if I need something that is missing in my life. I just can't put my finger on what it is. That's why I've considered dating Jayden. He's cute and I like him a lot. I can't say that he really stirs sexual feelings in me, but I haven't really tried looking at him that way, or thinking about him that way.

I'm not all that sure how my parents would feel about dating a black guy but at least I would be dating a guy and maybe me and Mom could make amends.

The other problem is Kayla. I like Kayla a lot but I'm not her type and she probably thinks I'm nothing but a whore dog, which has been mostly true. The other thing with Kayla is that I would have to commit to her completely and I'd have to be able to convince her that I was committed to her completely, which I'm afraid would never happen. Not that I couldn't commit to her, I'm just afraid she would never believe that I could be completely committed.

God, I'm so confused. I would love to talk to P.J. about how I'm feeling but I'm afraid she'll flip out on me. Especially because Kayla is Jamie's friend and I'm sure her and P.J. would be worried that I would hurt Kayla. And they will probably think I've lost my mind if I tell them I'm thinking about dating Jayden. Christ, what should I do?

Just then my cellphone rang, it was Jayden. "Hey Sweet Thing, whatchya doing?"

"Just hanging out," I said, putting the notebook and textbook I'd been staring at uselessly for the past hour away.

"Hey, there's a party off campus tomorrow night. You wanna go with?"

"Sure," I said. I hadn't been to a party since I'd moved in with Jamie and P.J. Maybe this was just what I needed.

P.J.

What Jamie asked about Lori made me really start paying attention to what she was doing. It was interesting because she seemed to constantly pick at Kayla in a flirtatious way, like she liked her more than she wanted to let on. But, at the same time, the flirting between her and Jayden had turned more serious. Jayden was coming around a lot more with Brandi and I had seen the two of them walking together on campus. Of course, they were both jocks and they were both involved in a lot of sports events. Now that they had become friends, that would explain them hanging out with each other. But, it wasn't like Lori to not have some chick hanging on her arm at least once during the course of a week and I haven't seen her with a girl hanging on her in the two weeks since she started hanging out with Jayden.

We are having our weekly pizza session tonight. Brandi and Kayla are coming over. Hopefully Jayden is not, since it's supposed to be study session as well as a pizza party. Jamie and I both liked this night of the week because it didn't involve cooking.

Afterwork, I picked up Jamie and Lori from campus and headed to the apartment. Lori was being quieter than usual. Jamie was telling me about an English paper we were all going to be required to do. She and I tried to get similar paper assignments because it really helped me for us to work on our papers together.

Kayla was waiting for us when we got to the apartment. She got out of her car and walked with us. She noticed that Lori was being very quiet and began poking her in the side. "What's up with you, Jock? No girls groveling at your feet this week?"

"No," Lori said glumly. "I wasn't in the mood this week."

Kayla raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that time of the month?"

"Maybe," Lori said.

Kayla looked at me and Jamie with a questioning look. This was not our usual Lori. Lori almost always was cheerful and playful. But I had noticed that she had become more and more withdraw over the last week.

When we got up stairs, I corned Lori in the kitchen. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "I miss my sister. I miss my room. I miss my dad. I don't miss Mom much. I guess it's just really hitting me that she really threw me out."

I pulled her into a hug. "It sucks, Man. But, you know your sister and Dad are welcome to come see you here anytime."

"I know," she said sadly. "It's just not the same."

I nodded. I couldn't imagine being thrown out of my parents house in the middle of college. If she had a girlfriend, maybe she wouldn't be so unhappy about not being at home. "Why don't you hook up with someone and bring them by this weekend. Maybe you're just in need of a good lay," I said with a wink.

That actually brought out a grin. "Maybe," she said. "We'll see."

Jamie

Knowing that Kayla had a thing for Lori made me watch the two of them more closely. They always seemed to be picking at each other. Now though, it seemed that they were really flirting with each other on subliminal levels.

I think Kayla may be right about Lori keeping people at arms distance. I had never really thought about her being a player for that reason, but she did go out of her way to avoid any kind of serious relationships.

Brandi had brought her brother, Jayden with her tonight. He was a huge flirt. P.J. and I just ignored his comments about how hot we looked. I think Kayla found it offense.Lori seemed to like the attention.

Lori and Jayden had been talking all night about their individual sport teams and sports in general, something Kayla seemed to know very little about, at least she wasn't participating in the conversation. P.J. and I put in our two cents but neither one of us was that into sports.

The more I watched, the more I realized that Kayla was being more quiet than usual because Lori seemed to be enjoying Jayden's flirting so much. It was a little unnerving to me too.

Lori had only been staying with us a short time and I knew she felt like she was a third wheel despite P.J. and I reassuring her that she wasn't. P.J. and I had gone out and looked at two bedroom apartments that would be in a similar price range as the one we have. We'd found a few that we liked a lot. I talked to my dad about what was going on and he said that he would help us with the rent if we needed it. The bad thing was that we had just signed a new lease back in May so we had several months to go before our lease was up. Dad took our lease agreement and said he was going to see if there was a way for us to get out of the lease if we found a two bedroom the three of us like. I was afraid that Lori was going to give in to her mother's demands and start dating guys in order to get to move back home. I know it's killing her being away from her sister.

Kayla stayed until nine and she seemed thoroughly disgusted with Lori and Jayden when she left. They had poked and played with each other all night. They'd even had a small wrestling match that had rolled over into where Kayla had been sitting. She got up off the floor and moved to the couch muttering something about stupid jocks.

Lori and Jayden continued to flirt and talk until ten when Jayden and Brandi left. P. J. and I went to bed shortly after that.

After we were in bed, I snuggled in close to P.J. and asked, "What did you think about Lori doing all that flirting with Jayden?"

"I think they were just playing around," she said. Her arm was around me, holding me close to her and she lazilyrubbing her thumb over hip.

"You don't think she might be considering switching teams to make her mom happy, do you?"

"Are you kidding? Lori date a guy?" P. J. asked, astonished.

"I know," I said. "It doesn't sound right at all but I'm just a little worried that she might try it out for her parents' sake."

P.J. didn't say anything for a few minutes, like she was mulling it over. "I hope not."

"Me, too."

Kayla

P.J. greeted me at the door with a yawn. "Sorry," she said.

"It's early, I know but Jamie and I have to get to the volunteer center before nine," I said.

P.J. nodded. "She's in the shower. Coffee is made in the kitchen if you want some."

"Thanks." I headed to the kitchen and stopped short when I saw Lori standing at the counter in boxers and tanktop, fixing a cup of coffee. Groaning inwardly, I went into the kitchen. I had been drawn to Lori the first time we met, but I quickly found out that she was a player. I hated that my heart skipped a beat every time I saw her, but I couldn't help myself. She was beautiful with her long, chestnut colored hair, dark brown eyes and beautiful smile.

She turned to me and grinned. "Hey, Geek."

I smiled back. "Hey, Jock." The pet names had started within the first week we knew each other. When Lori figured out that I was a computer geek, she immediately gave me the nickname Geek. In response, I started calling her Jock.

I went to the cabinet and got out a coffee cup. Lori turned and looked at me. "What you guys volunteering for?"

"We are both teaching basic computer skills to a group of abused women."

"Fun," she said.

She went into the livingroom and I found my eyes looking at her tight butt and legs and she walked out of the room. I looked toward the ceiling, Lord help me not be so attracted to her, I thought to myself.

I put my usual two teaspoons of sugar and a teaspoon of creamer in my coffee. Jamie came out of the bedroom. She hadn't put on her make up yet so I figured we had at least another half an hour before we were going to leave. I looked at my watch.

"I know," she said. "I'm going to make us late. I slept in."

"It's cool. I know where the Learning Center is. I can call, Janis, the coordinator and let her know we'll meet them there."

"Would you?" Jamie asked. "I would really love to grab a bowl of cereal and put my make up on before we go."

"You look beautiful just the way you are," P.J. said, sliding her arms around Jamie from behind and kissing her on the cheek.

"You're biased," Jamie laughed and turned her head so she could kiss P. J. on the lips.

I slid past them into the livingroom and called Janis. Lori gave me a grin, knowing that I left the kitchen to give them some privacy. I got a hold of Janis and told her we would be running a little late, and then sit down in the chair next to the couch where Lori had her bed made up. "How's rooming over here going?"

Lori stretched out her long legs and threw her blanket over them. "Good. I don't get griped at daily. The only dishes I usually have to wash are mine and I haven't been forced to go to church once."

"Sounds good," I said.

She leaned towards me and whispered, "I do feel like a third wheel sometimes but I usually go to the library or something when I think they want to be alone."

I nodded. "What are you going to do in the long run?"

"I'm looking for a part-time job and I'm going to see I can find someone to room with."

P.J. came into the room and sat down on the loveseat. "You are not going to be able to work part-time and play softball, Lori. We told you not to worry about getting a place, you're fine here."

"I'm going to have to figure something out," Lori said. "I can't live here for the next three years."

P.J. nodded. "But, maybe we can get a two bedroom apartment for the same rent and you could have your own room."

"Thank you, but I would still be in the way. You guys are on your honeymoon," Lori protested.

"We want you here,"P. J. promised.

"That's right," Jamie said, coming in and kissing Lori on top of her head. "We love being able to help you. The most important thing is that you finish school."

"Right," P. J. agreed.

Lori dropped her head. "Okay, if you guys say so."

"We say so," Jamie said. She went around to the backside of the loveseat. P.J. turned toward her and Jamie kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'll see you guys this evening. Why don't we order pizza? We'll call Brandi and have her come over too."

"That sounds good," P.J. agreed. "You two have fun today."

"Yeah, right," I said, rolling her eyes.

When they were outside, Jamie asked, "Do you have a little thing for Lori?"

I blushed and looked away. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I saw the way you were checking her out when she wasn't looking."

My blush deepened. "She's very cute." She turned and grabbed Jamie's arm. "But please don't tell her. I am attracted to her but I'm not interested in becoming another notch on her bedpost."

Jamie nodded knowingly. "She does like to play the field a bit, doesn't she?"

"I think it's because she's terrified to really trust someone with her heart. I mean, her parents have thrown her out. Most of her family has turned her away." I shrugged. "I'd be the same way. Why take a chance on loving someone, when the people you've loved all your life have turned their back on you."

"I hadn't thought about it that way," Jamie said. "But I think you may be right."

Lori

I had feared this day would come. Here I am, packing a small amount of clothes to take with me to Jaime and P. J.'s and packing the rest of my stuff to go to storage.

When I had come home from Jamie and P. J.'s and tried one last time to talk to my mother about being gay, she had walked away. My father called me later on my cell phone and said that Mom had told him to tell me that I was either going to start dating men, or I was going to move out of her house. So it was official, I was being thrown out. Thank God, Jamie and P.J. had already told me I could bunk with them for awhile.

My sister, Amelia came into my room while I was packing. "This so sucks," she said.

"I know."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to stay with friends for awhile."

She twisted a strand of her long reddish brown hair around a finger, which was longer than mine by three inches and a shade lighter. "What about school?"

"I talked to my advisor, she said I was good for classes because of my scholarship. As long as I keep my grades up and stay on the softball team, all my classes will continue to be covered. But, housing isn't covered because Mom and Dad had turned it down originally, so I'll have to figure out a way to rent a place," I said.

Amelia sighed. "Maybe Mom will change her mind after you've left. Maybe she'll realize she's making a mistake. "

I took Amelia's hand in mine. "Do you think she's making a mistake?"

"Yes, I do," Amelia said. "I don't understand why you like girls but you are my sister and I love you no matter what. And, personally, my thinking on Jesus' teaching, is that we should love each other unconditionally, because He loves us unconditionally. But, I guess Mom doesn't read the same Scriptures that I do.

I hugged Amelia to me tightly. "I'm going to miss seeing you every day." I pulled back and looked at her. "You know you can come see me on campus or at Jamie and P.J.'s."

"I'll try to catch you on campus," Amelia said. "I'm sure Mom would have a cow if she found out I had gone to Jamie and P. J.'s apartment."

"Yeah, God forbid," I said sarcastically. "We might convert you."

Amelia laughed, "No chance of that. I'm hopelessly in love with men. Michael Carrington in particular."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

Amelia blushed. "Yeah, he asked me to go to the Homecoming dance with him."

"That's awesome!" I said giving her another hug. "You'll have to keep me updated of how that's going. Somehow I'll keep my phone on so you can text me or call me."

She leaned closer and whispered, "I think Dad plans on helping you with that and probably food money. I think he's angry about Mom doing this but he's too afraid of her to go against her."

I shook my head. "I don't know why he puts up with her but that would be awesome if he can. I just hope she doesn't find out about it and flip out on him."

Amelia got up and looked out the window, and then looked out the bedroom door to make sure their mother hadn't come home. She took out a wad of bills and pushed them into my hand. "It's from me and Dad. He said he will find a way to contact you. He knows Mom checks his phone and emails, but he'll figure out a way to get in touch with you."

I got up and picked up my phone. I texted P.J. to let her know I was ready to load the last of my stuff up. I hugged Amelia tightly. "Thank you for loving me just the way I am. I hope you always do."

"I will and the same goes for you," she said, squeezing me so tightly it almost hurt. "I'm sure I'll do stuff that will make Mom angry too, but I know that as long as I've got you as my sister, everything will be okay."

"That's right," I said. "We always have to have each other's back."

"And next year, I'll be on campus too so I'm sure we'll see a lot more of each other."

"So you've definitely decided on Western?" I picked up a box and headed towards the front door.

Amelia grabbed a box too. "Yeah,I finally decided to go into teaching and Western has one of the best teaching programs."

"Cool," I said. "I think you'll be a great teacher."

Amelia walked me out to the driveway, where P. J. buzzed in with her Jeep. She hopped out and grabbed the last of my boxes and put them in the backseat. I hugged Amelia tightly. "Call me when you can."

"I will," Amelia promised.

P. J. handed Amelia a piece of paper. "That has my phone number on it," she said. "If Lori's phone gets shut off you can call me and I'll make sure she gets to talk to you."

"Thank you," Amelia said, tears welling up in her eyes. "And thank you for letting Lori stay with you."

P. J. smiled and nodded. She got in the driver's seat and quickly backed out of the driveway. They pasted Lori's mother on their way out the subdivision. She glanced their direction, lifted her chin and looked away.

"I guess that's goodbye," I said, tears trickling down my cheek.

P.J. reached over and squeezed my hand. "Hopefully she'll come around."

"I highly doubt it," I said. "She's too far to the right to ever accept me being gay."

"Well, then, it's her loss. She'll miss out on being apart of all your accomplishments and successes."

I nodded and looked away. It wasn't like she had noticed my accomplishments in the first place. Nothing I had ever done had been good enough for her because I wouldn't be her perfect little Christian girl.