What P.J. said about needing to get laid made me wonder why I hadn't
done that for awhile. I've had several hot girls after me but I just
wasn't interested. I'm not really sure what is wrong with me. I'm
enjoying my time hanging out with Jayden and he's hinted around several
times that he'd like to date me. Strangely, I've actually considered it.
It's not like I haven't had boyfriends before. I dated guys until I was
a senior in high school and Marianne Wesley blew my mind by French
kissing me on a dare at a party. I can't say that I didn't enjoy having
sex with a guy, although the first time with Tommy Engles had sucked
pretty good.
I've been feeling this restless yearning for something that seems to be
just beyond my reach. I don't know if it's because I miss being at home
or if I need something that is missing in my life. I just can't put my
finger on what it is. That's why I've considered dating Jayden. He's
cute and I like him a lot. I can't say that he really stirs sexual
feelings in me, but I haven't really tried looking at him that way, or
thinking about him that way.
I'm not all that sure how my parents would feel about dating a black guy
but at least I would be dating a guy and maybe me and Mom could make
amends.
The other problem is Kayla. I like Kayla a lot but I'm not her type and
she probably thinks I'm nothing but a whore dog, which has been mostly
true. The other thing with Kayla is that I would have to commit to her
completely and I'd have to be able to convince her that I was committed
to her completely, which I'm afraid would never happen. Not that I
couldn't commit to her, I'm just afraid she would never believe that I
could be completely committed.
God, I'm so confused. I would love to talk to P.J. about how I'm feeling
but I'm afraid she'll flip out on me. Especially because Kayla is
Jamie's friend and I'm sure her and P.J. would be worried that I would
hurt Kayla. And they will probably think I've lost my mind if I tell
them I'm thinking about dating Jayden. Christ, what should I do?
Just then my cellphone rang, it was Jayden. "Hey Sweet Thing, whatchya doing?"
"Just hanging out," I said, putting the notebook and textbook I'd been staring at uselessly for the past hour away.
"Hey, there's a party off campus tomorrow night. You wanna go with?"
"Sure," I said. I hadn't been to a party since I'd moved in with Jamie and P.J. Maybe this was just what I needed.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
P.J.
What Jamie asked about Lori made me really start paying attention to
what she was doing. It was interesting because she seemed to constantly
pick at Kayla in a flirtatious way, like she liked her more than she
wanted to let on. But, at the same time, the flirting between her and
Jayden had turned more serious. Jayden was coming around a lot more with
Brandi and I had seen the two of them walking together on campus. Of
course, they were both jocks and they were both involved in a lot of
sports events. Now that they had become friends, that would explain them
hanging out with each other. But, it wasn't like Lori to not have some
chick hanging on her arm at least once during the course of a week and I
haven't seen her with a girl hanging on her in the two weeks since she
started hanging out with Jayden.
We are having our weekly pizza session tonight. Brandi and Kayla are coming over. Hopefully Jayden is not, since it's supposed to be study session as well as a pizza party. Jamie and I both liked this night of the week because it didn't involve cooking.
Afterwork, I picked up Jamie and Lori from campus and headed to the apartment. Lori was being quieter than usual. Jamie was telling me about an English paper we were all going to be required to do. She and I tried to get similar paper assignments because it really helped me for us to work on our papers together.
Kayla was waiting for us when we got to the apartment. She got out of her car and walked with us. She noticed that Lori was being very quiet and began poking her in the side. "What's up with you, Jock? No girls groveling at your feet this week?"
"No," Lori said glumly. "I wasn't in the mood this week."
Kayla raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that time of the month?"
"Maybe," Lori said.
Kayla looked at me and Jamie with a questioning look. This was not our usual Lori. Lori almost always was cheerful and playful. But I had noticed that she had become more and more withdraw over the last week.
When we got up stairs, I corned Lori in the kitchen. "Are you okay?"
She shrugged. "I miss my sister. I miss my room. I miss my dad. I don't miss Mom much. I guess it's just really hitting me that she really threw me out."
I pulled her into a hug. "It sucks, Man. But, you know your sister and Dad are welcome to come see you here anytime."
"I know," she said sadly. "It's just not the same."
I nodded. I couldn't imagine being thrown out of my parents house in the middle of college. If she had a girlfriend, maybe she wouldn't be so unhappy about not being at home. "Why don't you hook up with someone and bring them by this weekend. Maybe you're just in need of a good lay," I said with a wink.
That actually brought out a grin. "Maybe," she said. "We'll see."
We are having our weekly pizza session tonight. Brandi and Kayla are coming over. Hopefully Jayden is not, since it's supposed to be study session as well as a pizza party. Jamie and I both liked this night of the week because it didn't involve cooking.
Afterwork, I picked up Jamie and Lori from campus and headed to the apartment. Lori was being quieter than usual. Jamie was telling me about an English paper we were all going to be required to do. She and I tried to get similar paper assignments because it really helped me for us to work on our papers together.
Kayla was waiting for us when we got to the apartment. She got out of her car and walked with us. She noticed that Lori was being very quiet and began poking her in the side. "What's up with you, Jock? No girls groveling at your feet this week?"
"No," Lori said glumly. "I wasn't in the mood this week."
Kayla raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that time of the month?"
"Maybe," Lori said.
Kayla looked at me and Jamie with a questioning look. This was not our usual Lori. Lori almost always was cheerful and playful. But I had noticed that she had become more and more withdraw over the last week.
When we got up stairs, I corned Lori in the kitchen. "Are you okay?"
She shrugged. "I miss my sister. I miss my room. I miss my dad. I don't miss Mom much. I guess it's just really hitting me that she really threw me out."
I pulled her into a hug. "It sucks, Man. But, you know your sister and Dad are welcome to come see you here anytime."
"I know," she said sadly. "It's just not the same."
I nodded. I couldn't imagine being thrown out of my parents house in the middle of college. If she had a girlfriend, maybe she wouldn't be so unhappy about not being at home. "Why don't you hook up with someone and bring them by this weekend. Maybe you're just in need of a good lay," I said with a wink.
That actually brought out a grin. "Maybe," she said. "We'll see."
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Jamie
Knowing that Kayla had a thing for Lori made me watch the two of them more closely. They always seemed to be picking at each other. Now though, it seemed that they were really flirting with each other on subliminal levels.
I think Kayla may be right about Lori keeping people at arms distance. I had never really thought about her being a player for that reason, but she did go out of her way to avoid any kind of serious relationships.
Brandi had brought her brother, Jayden with her tonight. He was a huge flirt. P.J. and I just ignored his comments about how hot we looked. I think Kayla found it offense.Lori seemed to like the attention.
Lori and Jayden had been talking all night about their individual sport teams and sports in general, something Kayla seemed to know very little about, at least she wasn't participating in the conversation. P.J. and I put in our two cents but neither one of us was that into sports.
The more I watched, the more I realized that Kayla was being more quiet than usual because Lori seemed to be enjoying Jayden's flirting so much. It was a little unnerving to me too.
Lori had only been staying with us a short time and I knew she felt like she was a third wheel despite P.J. and I reassuring her that she wasn't. P.J. and I had gone out and looked at two bedroom apartments that would be in a similar price range as the one we have. We'd found a few that we liked a lot. I talked to my dad about what was going on and he said that he would help us with the rent if we needed it. The bad thing was that we had just signed a new lease back in May so we had several months to go before our lease was up. Dad took our lease agreement and said he was going to see if there was a way for us to get out of the lease if we found a two bedroom the three of us like. I was afraid that Lori was going to give in to her mother's demands and start dating guys in order to get to move back home. I know it's killing her being away from her sister.
Kayla stayed until nine and she seemed thoroughly disgusted with Lori and Jayden when she left. They had poked and played with each other all night. They'd even had a small wrestling match that had rolled over into where Kayla had been sitting. She got up off the floor and moved to the couch muttering something about stupid jocks.
Lori and Jayden continued to flirt and talk until ten when Jayden and Brandi left. P. J. and I went to bed shortly after that.
After we were in bed, I snuggled in close to P.J. and asked, "What did you think about Lori doing all that flirting with Jayden?"
"I think they were just playing around," she said. Her arm was around me, holding me close to her and she lazilyrubbing her thumb over hip.
"You don't think she might be considering switching teams to make her mom happy, do you?"
"Are you kidding? Lori date a guy?" P. J. asked, astonished.
"I know," I said. "It doesn't sound right at all but I'm just a little worried that she might try it out for her parents' sake."
P.J. didn't say anything for a few minutes, like she was mulling it over. "I hope not."
"Me, too."
I think Kayla may be right about Lori keeping people at arms distance. I had never really thought about her being a player for that reason, but she did go out of her way to avoid any kind of serious relationships.
Brandi had brought her brother, Jayden with her tonight. He was a huge flirt. P.J. and I just ignored his comments about how hot we looked. I think Kayla found it offense.Lori seemed to like the attention.
Lori and Jayden had been talking all night about their individual sport teams and sports in general, something Kayla seemed to know very little about, at least she wasn't participating in the conversation. P.J. and I put in our two cents but neither one of us was that into sports.
The more I watched, the more I realized that Kayla was being more quiet than usual because Lori seemed to be enjoying Jayden's flirting so much. It was a little unnerving to me too.
Lori had only been staying with us a short time and I knew she felt like she was a third wheel despite P.J. and I reassuring her that she wasn't. P.J. and I had gone out and looked at two bedroom apartments that would be in a similar price range as the one we have. We'd found a few that we liked a lot. I talked to my dad about what was going on and he said that he would help us with the rent if we needed it. The bad thing was that we had just signed a new lease back in May so we had several months to go before our lease was up. Dad took our lease agreement and said he was going to see if there was a way for us to get out of the lease if we found a two bedroom the three of us like. I was afraid that Lori was going to give in to her mother's demands and start dating guys in order to get to move back home. I know it's killing her being away from her sister.
Kayla stayed until nine and she seemed thoroughly disgusted with Lori and Jayden when she left. They had poked and played with each other all night. They'd even had a small wrestling match that had rolled over into where Kayla had been sitting. She got up off the floor and moved to the couch muttering something about stupid jocks.
Lori and Jayden continued to flirt and talk until ten when Jayden and Brandi left. P. J. and I went to bed shortly after that.
After we were in bed, I snuggled in close to P.J. and asked, "What did you think about Lori doing all that flirting with Jayden?"
"I think they were just playing around," she said. Her arm was around me, holding me close to her and she lazilyrubbing her thumb over hip.
"You don't think she might be considering switching teams to make her mom happy, do you?"
"Are you kidding? Lori date a guy?" P. J. asked, astonished.
"I know," I said. "It doesn't sound right at all but I'm just a little worried that she might try it out for her parents' sake."
P.J. didn't say anything for a few minutes, like she was mulling it over. "I hope not."
"Me, too."
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Kayla
P.J. greeted me at the door with a yawn. "Sorry,"
she said.
"It's early, I know but Jamie and I have to get to the
volunteer center before nine," I said.
P.J. nodded. "She's in the shower. Coffee is made in
the kitchen if you want some."
"Thanks." I headed to the kitchen and stopped
short when I saw Lori standing at the counter in boxers and tanktop, fixing a
cup of coffee. Groaning inwardly, I went into the kitchen. I had been drawn to
Lori the first time we met, but I quickly found out that she was a player. I
hated that my heart skipped a beat every time I saw her, but I couldn't help
myself. She was beautiful with her long, chestnut colored hair, dark brown eyes
and beautiful smile.
She turned to me and grinned. "Hey, Geek."
I smiled back. "Hey, Jock." The pet names had
started within the first week we knew each other. When Lori figured out that I
was a computer geek, she immediately gave me the nickname Geek. In response, I
started calling her Jock.
I went to the cabinet and got out a coffee cup. Lori turned
and looked at me. "What you guys volunteering for?"
"We are both teaching basic computer skills to a group
of abused women."
"Fun," she said.
She went into the livingroom and I found my eyes looking at
her tight butt and legs and she walked out of the room. I looked toward the
ceiling, Lord help me not be so attracted to her, I thought to myself.
I put my usual two teaspoons of sugar and a teaspoon of
creamer in my coffee. Jamie came out of the bedroom. She hadn't put on her make
up yet so I figured we had at least another half an hour before we were going
to leave. I looked at my watch.
"I know," she said. "I'm going to make us
late. I slept in."
"It's cool. I know where the Learning Center
is. I can call, Janis, the coordinator and let her know we'll meet them
there."
"Would you?" Jamie asked. "I would really
love to grab a bowl of cereal and put my make up on before we go."
"You look beautiful just the way you are," P.J.
said, sliding her arms around Jamie from behind and kissing her on the cheek.
"You're biased," Jamie laughed and turned her head
so she could kiss P. J. on the lips.
I slid past them into the livingroom and called Janis. Lori
gave me a grin, knowing that I left the kitchen to give them some privacy. I
got a hold of Janis and told her we would be running a little late, and then
sit down in the chair next to the couch where Lori had her bed made up.
"How's rooming over here going?"
Lori stretched out her long legs and threw her blanket over
them. "Good. I don't get griped at daily. The only dishes I usually have
to wash are mine and I haven't been forced to go to church once."
"Sounds good," I said.
She leaned towards me and whispered, "I do feel like a
third wheel sometimes but I usually go to the library or something when I think
they want to be alone."
I nodded. "What are you going to do in the long
run?"
"I'm looking for a part-time job and I'm going to see I
can find someone to room with."
P.J. came into the room and sat down on the loveseat.
"You are not going to be able to work part-time and play softball, Lori.
We told you not to worry about getting a place, you're fine here."
"I'm going to have to figure something out," Lori
said. "I can't live here for the next three years."
P.J. nodded. "But, maybe we can get a two bedroom
apartment for the same rent and you could have your own room."
"Thank you, but I would still be in the way. You guys
are on your honeymoon," Lori protested.
"We want you here,"P. J. promised.
"That's right," Jamie said, coming in and kissing
Lori on top of her head. "We love being able to help you. The most
important thing is that you finish school."
"Right," P. J. agreed.
Lori dropped her head. "Okay, if you guys say so."
"We say so," Jamie said. She went around to the
backside of the loveseat. P.J. turned toward her and Jamie kissed her lightly
on the lips. "I'll see you guys this evening. Why don't we order pizza?
We'll call Brandi and have her come over too."
"That sounds good," P.J. agreed. "You two
have fun today."
"Yeah, right," I said, rolling her eyes.
When they were outside, Jamie asked, "Do you have a
little thing for Lori?"
I blushed and looked away. "Why would you think
that?"
"Because I saw the way you were checking her out when
she wasn't looking."
My blush deepened. "She's very cute." She turned
and grabbed Jamie's arm. "But please don't tell her. I am attracted to her
but I'm not interested in becoming another notch on her bedpost."
Jamie nodded knowingly. "She does like to play the
field a bit, doesn't she?"
"I think it's because she's terrified to really trust
someone with her heart. I mean, her parents have thrown her out. Most of her
family has turned her away." I shrugged. "I'd be the same way. Why
take a chance on loving someone, when the people you've loved all your life
have turned their back on you."
"I hadn't thought about it that way," Jamie said.
"But I think you may be right."
Friday, November 9, 2012
Lori
I had feared this day would come. Here I am, packing a small amount of clothes to take with me to Jaime and P. J.'s and packing the rest of my stuff to go to storage.
When I had come home from Jamie and P. J.'s and tried one last time to talk to my mother about being gay, she had walked away. My father called me later on my cell phone and said that Mom had told him to tell me that I was either going to start dating men, or I was going to move out of her house. So it was official, I was being thrown out. Thank God, Jamie and P.J. had already told me I could bunk with them for awhile.
My sister, Amelia came into my room while I was packing. "This so sucks," she said.
"I know."
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to stay with friends for awhile."
She twisted a strand of her long reddish brown hair around a finger, which was longer than mine by three inches and a shade lighter. "What about school?"
"I talked to my advisor, she said I was good for classes because of my scholarship. As long as I keep my grades up and stay on the softball team, all my classes will continue to be covered. But, housing isn't covered because Mom and Dad had turned it down originally, so I'll have to figure out a way to rent a place," I said.
Amelia sighed. "Maybe Mom will change her mind after you've left. Maybe she'll realize she's making a mistake. "
I took Amelia's hand in mine. "Do you think she's making a mistake?"
"Yes, I do," Amelia said. "I don't understand why you like girls but you are my sister and I love you no matter what. And, personally, my thinking on Jesus' teaching, is that we should love each other unconditionally, because He loves us unconditionally. But, I guess Mom doesn't read the same Scriptures that I do.
I hugged Amelia to me tightly. "I'm going to miss seeing you every day." I pulled back and looked at her. "You know you can come see me on campus or at Jamie and P.J.'s."
"I'll try to catch you on campus," Amelia said. "I'm sure Mom would have a cow if she found out I had gone to Jamie and P. J.'s apartment."
"Yeah, God forbid," I said sarcastically. "We might convert you."
Amelia laughed, "No chance of that. I'm hopelessly in love with men. Michael Carrington in particular."
I raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"
Amelia blushed. "Yeah, he asked me to go to the Homecoming dance with him."
"That's awesome!" I said giving her another hug. "You'll have to keep me updated of how that's going. Somehow I'll keep my phone on so you can text me or call me."
She leaned closer and whispered, "I think Dad plans on helping you with that and probably food money. I think he's angry about Mom doing this but he's too afraid of her to go against her."
I shook my head. "I don't know why he puts up with her but that would be awesome if he can. I just hope she doesn't find out about it and flip out on him."
Amelia got up and looked out the window, and then looked out the bedroom door to make sure their mother hadn't come home. She took out a wad of bills and pushed them into my hand. "It's from me and Dad. He said he will find a way to contact you. He knows Mom checks his phone and emails, but he'll figure out a way to get in touch with you."
I got up and picked up my phone. I texted P.J. to let her know I was ready to load the last of my stuff up. I hugged Amelia tightly. "Thank you for loving me just the way I am. I hope you always do."
"I will and the same goes for you," she said, squeezing me so tightly it almost hurt. "I'm sure I'll do stuff that will make Mom angry too, but I know that as long as I've got you as my sister, everything will be okay."
"That's right," I said. "We always have to have each other's back."
"And next year, I'll be on campus too so I'm sure we'll see a lot more of each other."
"So you've definitely decided on Western?" I picked up a box and headed towards the front door.
Amelia grabbed a box too. "Yeah,I finally decided to go into teaching and Western has one of the best teaching programs."
"Cool," I said. "I think you'll be a great teacher."
Amelia walked me out to the driveway, where P. J. buzzed in with her Jeep. She hopped out and grabbed the last of my boxes and put them in the backseat. I hugged Amelia tightly. "Call me when you can."
"I will," Amelia promised.
P. J. handed Amelia a piece of paper. "That has my phone number on it," she said. "If Lori's phone gets shut off you can call me and I'll make sure she gets to talk to you."
"Thank you," Amelia said, tears welling up in her eyes. "And thank you for letting Lori stay with you."
P. J. smiled and nodded. She got in the driver's seat and quickly backed out of the driveway. They pasted Lori's mother on their way out the subdivision. She glanced their direction, lifted her chin and looked away.
"I guess that's goodbye," I said, tears trickling down my cheek.
P.J. reached over and squeezed my hand. "Hopefully she'll come around."
"I highly doubt it," I said. "She's too far to the right to ever accept me being gay."
"Well, then, it's her loss. She'll miss out on being apart of all your accomplishments and successes."
I nodded and looked away. It wasn't like she had noticed my accomplishments in the first place. Nothing I had ever done had been good enough for her because I wouldn't be her perfect little Christian girl.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
P. J.
I dropped Jamie off in front of the English building where Kayla and Brandi were waiting for her on the steps. I always feel a pang of jealousy when I see her with her girlfriends, specially Kayla. I know I shouldn't worry about the two of them being friends, but they are both smart and femmes, and I'm a butch dyke. I guess I'm not really that butchlike, but I'm definitely not femme. In fact, the one and only time I've worn a dress since I was a little girl, was at our senior prom. That was a great night. I let out a sigh, anyway, sometimes, I still feel like I'm not in Jamie's league.
When I first caught Jamie staring at me during our senior year in high school, I had been surprised and very wary. I was a trouble making loser, trying to get her life turned around so I didn't end up in jail or rehab. I couldn't imagine why a popular cheerleader like Jamie would want to have anything to do with me.
It seemed to have started the first time she saw me working at McDonald's. It was like something went off in her head and she really saw me for the first time.
I had had a crush on her since ninth grade. I had suspected before then that I liked girls, but I was already having issues about my dad walking out on me and my mom. I didn't want to believe I was gay. I didn't need anything else to worry about.
My dad left on my twelveth birthday. He said he was going out for a pack of cigarettes or beer or something and then never came back. Mom thought something bad had happened to him until her brother saw him in a bar in Louisville with another chick. I was so sad when I thought he was dead. I had always thought that we were close. He always took me to do stuff with him. We camped and fished together all the time. When I found out he had left us for another women, that was it. I hated him, hated women, hated men, hated life. That was when I started hanging around with Derek Kruger and his croonies.
Thinking about Derek made my eye twitch. He had caused me a lot of problems before Jamie and I hooked up. Then,Jamie's ex-boyfriend, Todd paid him to video of me and Jamie making out for the first time,and he posted it on YouTube and Facebook. When he did that, he went beyond being a punk, to being a criminal. He'd gotten six months in jail and a year probabtion for his involvement in all that. Todd had gotten a year suspended because he had a better lawyer than Derek did.
A guy on a bike cut across in front of me as I was driving through campus, forcing me to slam on my brakes. I decided I needed to stop thinking about the past and my worries, and focus on driving. Besides, Jamie loves me and I know she does. I don't need to worry about any other chicks hitting on her.
I arrived at work fifteen minutes early, like I always do. This job at Kinkos had been the best thing that ever happened to me, well, other than Jaimie. It was a lot easier than working at McDonald's or Markhum's. Plus, I was getting to do stuff with graphic arts, which I loved. Granted, it didn't pay as much as Markhum's would have, but you can't put a price on doing something you love.
My manager, Greg Duggar was already there getting set up to do a large run of brochures for one of the churches in town. I started getting the cash register drawers ready so we could count the money before we put the cash registers.
"Hey, P. J.," Greg said. "I've got a project for you."
"Okay," I said, setting the drawers on his desk in the back. "Whatcha need?"
"A new client came in and asked if we could create a logo for his new company," Greg said. "I'm going to put you in charge of creating it."
"Really?" I said, surprised that he would give me a big project like this. I'd only been working there for six months, and mostly just as a copy printer and cashier. Although, I had helped him create some logos before.
"Yep, I've seen your artwork and I think you can do this," he said. "After we count the money and get the registers ready, Mary should be here and I can go over the project with you."
"Awesome!" I said, "I'm so honored that you are giving me this chance."
Greg put his hand on my shoulder. "You are a very talented artist, P. J. and I think you will do a great job with this project."
Later that morning, when I was on break, I texted Jamie about my project. It was going to be challenging because the client was a cattle farmer and he wanted a cattle head some how included in the logo.
Jamie texted me back, "That's awesome, Babe. Can't wait to see what you come up with. Kayla and Brandi want to come by to study tonight, you care?"
"That's cool. What we doing for dinner? Do you need me to stop and get anything." I wrote back. I was crazing hamburgers, maybe I would just swing into McDonald's and pick something up.
She wrote back that she didn't care and that it was up to me. I decided it was hamburgers from McD's and she was cool with that. It still surprised me the ease with which our life had become so domesticated. We had an easy partnership and I hoped it stayed like that.
Later that night, when I got home from work, Kayla, Brandi, and Jamie were sitting on the floor in front of the couch. They had their homework spread out on the coffee table and each one had their nose buried in the English Lit textbook. Jamie looked up at me and smiled when I closed the door.
"Thank God! I'm starving," she said. She got up from the floor and came over to me. She took one of the bags of food and kissed me lightly lips. "You want to eat or get a shower first?"
"Eat," I said.
Kayla and Brandi jumped to help us put the food on plates so we could all sit down in the living room and eat. We had no more than gotten started when there was a knock at the door. I got up and looked through the peep hole. It was Lori and she didn't look happy.
I opened the door. "Hey, what's up?"
"My parents are threatening to throw me out," Lori said, and wiped a tear that had escaped her eye.
"What?" I gasped. "Why?"
"Because I'm gay." Lori stated. She dropped her head, "I don't know what I'm going to do."
I took her hand and pulled her into the apartment. "Come on," I said. "Let's sit down and talk about this."
I led her into the living room, where everyone was sitting. "Have you eaten?" I asked.
"I can't eat," Lori said. "I've been sick to my stomach all day."
"What's going on?" Jamie asked.
Lori run her fingers through her hair. "I guess one of my mom's friends say me kiss some girl. It was at the game against Murray State Saturday night. This chick, Mandy invited me to go to a tailgate party with her and her friends. We were listening to the game on the radio, playing Monopoly and eating hotdogs behind some guy's truck. He was parked in the parking lot on the other side of the baseball field. We were all just having a good time." Lori looked up at us as we all listened. "Mandy sit in my lap and started kissing me, lauching a bunch of hooping and hollering from her friends. She's straight and was just playing around." Lori sighed, "Apparently, one of mom's church friends was driving by the parking lot and saw her kissing me. She called mom freaking out about it. When I got home last night, Mom went off on me."
"Bummer," Brandi said.
"For real," Kayla agreed.
Jamie got up and sat on the couch net to Lori. "So what did she actually say?"
"She said that if I continued living my sinful lifestyle, I was going to have to find a new home. She said that she had hoped it was just a phase I was going through but she could see that I was very troubled and needed help," Lori said bitterly.
"Was your dad agreeing with her?" I asked.
"Dad never disagrees with Mom, but he wasn't home. He's at a conference in Atlanta."
"So bascially she's saying that you have to stop being gay, or she's going to put you on the street?" Jamie asked.
"Yes," Lori answered.
I looked at Jamie, who looked at me sadly. She come real close to goign through something similar.
Fortunately, Jamie's dad got her mother calmed down. I hoped Jamie felt the same way as I did about this situation and I said, "You can stay will us for awhile if you need to."
"Absolutely," Jamie exclaimed, completely agreeing with me.
"I can't impose on you guys," Lori said.
"What are you going to do then?" Jamie asked.
Lori looked up at her, tears brimming her eyes. "I don't know."
Jamie put her arm around Lori and pulled her into an embrace. I sat on the arm of the couch and gently rubbed her back. "Stay here tonight," I said. "Do you have any clothes with you?"
"I've got some in the car," she said, wiping a tear and sniffing.
Kayla got up, went to the bathroom, and come back with some toilet paper. She handed it to Lori. "P. J. is right. You should stay here tonight. When does your dad get back in town?"
"He won't be back until the weekend, but him being home won't change anything. What Mom says is law." Lori wiped her. "I can't believe she would actually throw me out of the house, but she really might. She has become more and more involved in this evangelitical church thing. Her opinions have gotten stronger about a lot of things. She is absolutlely convinced I'm pretending to be gay to piss her off."
"That is ridiculous," Brandi snorted. "I mean I've heard about chicks playing around with other girls just for the hell of it, like the chick that kissed you and started all this shit. But, you are one of the gayest girls I know and I know you aren't doing it just for fun. You love women and there's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong, is your mother throwing her daughter out on the street for being who she is."
"That's right," Kayla said.
"Thanks guys," Lori said, reaching out her hand so both of them could grab it. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you guys. My sister is trying to be there for me but Mom has got her thumb on her." She sighed and pulled her hand back after Brandi and Kayla had both squeezed it. "I just need to figure out what I'm going to do. School is paid for because of my scholarship, thank God. But, I'll have to figure out something about a place to live if she really throws me out."
"Well, you can stay here as long as you need to," Jamie said, looking up at me.
"That's right," I confirmed. "You can crash here as long as you like."
She looked up at us, relief showly slightly behind the sadness. "Thanks. I really appreciate it."
When I first caught Jamie staring at me during our senior year in high school, I had been surprised and very wary. I was a trouble making loser, trying to get her life turned around so I didn't end up in jail or rehab. I couldn't imagine why a popular cheerleader like Jamie would want to have anything to do with me.
It seemed to have started the first time she saw me working at McDonald's. It was like something went off in her head and she really saw me for the first time.
I had had a crush on her since ninth grade. I had suspected before then that I liked girls, but I was already having issues about my dad walking out on me and my mom. I didn't want to believe I was gay. I didn't need anything else to worry about.
My dad left on my twelveth birthday. He said he was going out for a pack of cigarettes or beer or something and then never came back. Mom thought something bad had happened to him until her brother saw him in a bar in Louisville with another chick. I was so sad when I thought he was dead. I had always thought that we were close. He always took me to do stuff with him. We camped and fished together all the time. When I found out he had left us for another women, that was it. I hated him, hated women, hated men, hated life. That was when I started hanging around with Derek Kruger and his croonies.
Thinking about Derek made my eye twitch. He had caused me a lot of problems before Jamie and I hooked up. Then,Jamie's ex-boyfriend, Todd paid him to video of me and Jamie making out for the first time,and he posted it on YouTube and Facebook. When he did that, he went beyond being a punk, to being a criminal. He'd gotten six months in jail and a year probabtion for his involvement in all that. Todd had gotten a year suspended because he had a better lawyer than Derek did.
A guy on a bike cut across in front of me as I was driving through campus, forcing me to slam on my brakes. I decided I needed to stop thinking about the past and my worries, and focus on driving. Besides, Jamie loves me and I know she does. I don't need to worry about any other chicks hitting on her.
I arrived at work fifteen minutes early, like I always do. This job at Kinkos had been the best thing that ever happened to me, well, other than Jaimie. It was a lot easier than working at McDonald's or Markhum's. Plus, I was getting to do stuff with graphic arts, which I loved. Granted, it didn't pay as much as Markhum's would have, but you can't put a price on doing something you love.
My manager, Greg Duggar was already there getting set up to do a large run of brochures for one of the churches in town. I started getting the cash register drawers ready so we could count the money before we put the cash registers.
"Hey, P. J.," Greg said. "I've got a project for you."
"Okay," I said, setting the drawers on his desk in the back. "Whatcha need?"
"A new client came in and asked if we could create a logo for his new company," Greg said. "I'm going to put you in charge of creating it."
"Really?" I said, surprised that he would give me a big project like this. I'd only been working there for six months, and mostly just as a copy printer and cashier. Although, I had helped him create some logos before.
"Yep, I've seen your artwork and I think you can do this," he said. "After we count the money and get the registers ready, Mary should be here and I can go over the project with you."
"Awesome!" I said, "I'm so honored that you are giving me this chance."
Greg put his hand on my shoulder. "You are a very talented artist, P. J. and I think you will do a great job with this project."
Later that morning, when I was on break, I texted Jamie about my project. It was going to be challenging because the client was a cattle farmer and he wanted a cattle head some how included in the logo.
Jamie texted me back, "That's awesome, Babe. Can't wait to see what you come up with. Kayla and Brandi want to come by to study tonight, you care?"
"That's cool. What we doing for dinner? Do you need me to stop and get anything." I wrote back. I was crazing hamburgers, maybe I would just swing into McDonald's and pick something up.
She wrote back that she didn't care and that it was up to me. I decided it was hamburgers from McD's and she was cool with that. It still surprised me the ease with which our life had become so domesticated. We had an easy partnership and I hoped it stayed like that.
Later that night, when I got home from work, Kayla, Brandi, and Jamie were sitting on the floor in front of the couch. They had their homework spread out on the coffee table and each one had their nose buried in the English Lit textbook. Jamie looked up at me and smiled when I closed the door.
"Thank God! I'm starving," she said. She got up from the floor and came over to me. She took one of the bags of food and kissed me lightly lips. "You want to eat or get a shower first?"
"Eat," I said.
Kayla and Brandi jumped to help us put the food on plates so we could all sit down in the living room and eat. We had no more than gotten started when there was a knock at the door. I got up and looked through the peep hole. It was Lori and she didn't look happy.
I opened the door. "Hey, what's up?"
"My parents are threatening to throw me out," Lori said, and wiped a tear that had escaped her eye.
"What?" I gasped. "Why?"
"Because I'm gay." Lori stated. She dropped her head, "I don't know what I'm going to do."
I took her hand and pulled her into the apartment. "Come on," I said. "Let's sit down and talk about this."
I led her into the living room, where everyone was sitting. "Have you eaten?" I asked.
"I can't eat," Lori said. "I've been sick to my stomach all day."
"What's going on?" Jamie asked.
Lori run her fingers through her hair. "I guess one of my mom's friends say me kiss some girl. It was at the game against Murray State Saturday night. This chick, Mandy invited me to go to a tailgate party with her and her friends. We were listening to the game on the radio, playing Monopoly and eating hotdogs behind some guy's truck. He was parked in the parking lot on the other side of the baseball field. We were all just having a good time." Lori looked up at us as we all listened. "Mandy sit in my lap and started kissing me, lauching a bunch of hooping and hollering from her friends. She's straight and was just playing around." Lori sighed, "Apparently, one of mom's church friends was driving by the parking lot and saw her kissing me. She called mom freaking out about it. When I got home last night, Mom went off on me."
"Bummer," Brandi said.
"For real," Kayla agreed.
Jamie got up and sat on the couch net to Lori. "So what did she actually say?"
"She said that if I continued living my sinful lifestyle, I was going to have to find a new home. She said that she had hoped it was just a phase I was going through but she could see that I was very troubled and needed help," Lori said bitterly.
"Was your dad agreeing with her?" I asked.
"Dad never disagrees with Mom, but he wasn't home. He's at a conference in Atlanta."
"So bascially she's saying that you have to stop being gay, or she's going to put you on the street?" Jamie asked.
"Yes," Lori answered.
I looked at Jamie, who looked at me sadly. She come real close to goign through something similar.
Fortunately, Jamie's dad got her mother calmed down. I hoped Jamie felt the same way as I did about this situation and I said, "You can stay will us for awhile if you need to."
"Absolutely," Jamie exclaimed, completely agreeing with me.
"I can't impose on you guys," Lori said.
"What are you going to do then?" Jamie asked.
Lori looked up at her, tears brimming her eyes. "I don't know."
Jamie put her arm around Lori and pulled her into an embrace. I sat on the arm of the couch and gently rubbed her back. "Stay here tonight," I said. "Do you have any clothes with you?"
"I've got some in the car," she said, wiping a tear and sniffing.
Kayla got up, went to the bathroom, and come back with some toilet paper. She handed it to Lori. "P. J. is right. You should stay here tonight. When does your dad get back in town?"
"He won't be back until the weekend, but him being home won't change anything. What Mom says is law." Lori wiped her. "I can't believe she would actually throw me out of the house, but she really might. She has become more and more involved in this evangelitical church thing. Her opinions have gotten stronger about a lot of things. She is absolutlely convinced I'm pretending to be gay to piss her off."
"That is ridiculous," Brandi snorted. "I mean I've heard about chicks playing around with other girls just for the hell of it, like the chick that kissed you and started all this shit. But, you are one of the gayest girls I know and I know you aren't doing it just for fun. You love women and there's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong, is your mother throwing her daughter out on the street for being who she is."
"That's right," Kayla said.
"Thanks guys," Lori said, reaching out her hand so both of them could grab it. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you guys. My sister is trying to be there for me but Mom has got her thumb on her." She sighed and pulled her hand back after Brandi and Kayla had both squeezed it. "I just need to figure out what I'm going to do. School is paid for because of my scholarship, thank God. But, I'll have to figure out something about a place to live if she really throws me out."
"Well, you can stay here as long as you need to," Jamie said, looking up at me.
"That's right," I confirmed. "You can crash here as long as you like."
She looked up at us, relief showly slightly behind the sadness. "Thanks. I really appreciate it."
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Beginning of the First Day of Second Semester from Jamie
Jamie
The alarm went off, rousing me from a deep sleep. I reached over and hit the snooze button, and then snuggled closer to P. J. Burying my head into P. J.’s neck, I let myself fall back to sleep.
When the alarm went off the second time, P. J. reached over me and hit the snooze button. She kissed me on top of my head. “You need to get up sleepy head.”
“I know,” I said but didn’t move out of her arms.
We lay there snuggling until the alarm went off again. P. J. gave me a nudge, “Turn the alarm off and I’ll go make coffee.” She rolled away from me and swung her long legs off the bed.
I lay there for a few more minutes, watching her get up and pad toward the kitchen in her blue, plaid boxers and black tank top. I rolled toward the alarm clock and hit the off button. Six-thirty, I hadn’t gotten up this early since last semester’s finals week. It’s amazing how lazy you can become in three and a half months.
I had classes during both summer sessions but they hadn’t started until after twelve in the afternoon. I’d gotten used to sleeping until eight or nine. Some mornings I’d get up at seven when P. J. was getting ready to leave for work, but usually I’d sleep in then call her when she was on her break.
P. J. had started working full-time at the print shop right after finals last May. She loved her job there working with designs and print jobs. I was a little concerned that she wouldn’t sign up for classes this fall since she had found her dream job, but she signed up for three classes. It’s going to be hard to go to school and work full-time, but I’m confident she can handle it. The thing that sucks though is that she had to pick all late afternoon or evening classes to go with her work schedule. We had gotten into a route of having dinner around six after P. J. got home from work, and then we would watch movies or play games with the girls. The girls are Kayla, Lori, and Brandi, with whom I had started a study group with the during summer classes.
I was feeling quite the little housewife. P. J. would just laugh when I’d say that but it was true. I cleaned house, studied, fixed dinner, and then waited for my girlfriend to come home from work. But now, our routine was going to get completely changed.
Sitting up, I stretched out my arms over my head, and then pushed the covers off my legs. P. J. had a thing about wearing some kind of shorts or pants when she slept, but I wore only a short night gown. My night gowns had been much longer when I lived at home and on campus, but I had been wearing skimpy shorts ones, like the light blue one I had on now, ever since P. J. and I moved in together. I like looking sexy for her.
Smiling to myself, I got up and made my way to the kitchen where P. J. was leaning against the counter waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. I slipped my arms around her waist and lay my head against her back. She put her arms over mine, giving them a squeeze, and then turned in my arms and kissed me on the lips.
“I knew playing that last round of Wii tennis was going to make it hard for you to get up this morning,” she said, giving me a lingering kiss, and then pulling away to get coffee cups out of the cabinet. Both of us had developed an addition to coffee since we started college.
“I know, but it was a lot of fun. I swear I think Kayla and Brandi practice before they come over.”
“You might be right about that,” P. J. said, handing me the cup of coffee she had made for me. She knew that I took exactly one teaspoon of sugar and creamer each. For some reason, it always tasted better when she made it for me.
“And Lori is a softball player, so she’s got the swing down.” I looked at P. J. as she turned around with her cup of coffee. “I think we are at a serious disadvantage playing against any of them.”
“True, maybe next time we can talk them into playing Scrabble. You would probably win at that.” P. J. suggested.
“I don’t know. Kayla and Brandi are both good spellers but at least I wouldn’t get stomped as severely as I do in tennis.”
P. J. laughed. “True.” She kissed me again, and then headed back to the bedroom. “Let’s get a shower and then I’ll take you to the hill before I go to work.”
Taking a shower together would normally end in a making love session, but they didn’t have time for that this morning. Jamie’s first class started at eight-oh-five and it was already after seven.
This morning’s class was English 200, one of the classes that Jamie, P. J., Lori, Brandi, and Kayla had decided to take together this semester so they could work on homework together.
Unfortunately, P. J. and Lori’s schedules couldn’t be matched up with Jamie, Brandi and Kayla’s. P. J. had to work during the day and Lori had softball practice in the mornings so neither could take early morning classes. Jamie, Brandi and Kayla were taking the English 200 class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. P. J. and Lori were taking it on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.
They were all taking college algebra this semester, except for P. J., who was taking two art classes in the evenings that she had to have for her degree. Lori had to take the algebra class as an evening class. Jamie, Brandi and Kayla were taking it in a day class, three days a week. It was going to be a rough semester but the five of them had promised to help each other get through it.
Jamie picked out a pair of pleated beige shorts, a white tank top and her beige flip flops to where today.
P. J. was putting on a pair of dark blue slacks and a black Polo shirt. I watched her for a moment as she put on her socks and black boots. “What?”
“Nothing,” I said, blushing. “I was just thinking how sexy you look in your semi-professional work attire.”
She chuckled, “You are so silly.” She looked me up and down, and then said, “You look hot in that outfit, my little college girl.” She came over and kissed me lightly on the lips and gave my butt a light pat. “You need to finish up or you’re going to be late for your first day of class.”
“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” I said, pulling out of her arms and going into the living room.
I gathered my books and backpack. My phone buzzed and I picked it up off the coffee table. It was a text from Brandi. “Tell your girlfriend to get her hands off you so you can get your ass up here.”
Laughing out loud, I text her back. “Her hands are not on me, right now anyway. I’ll be up there in a few minutes.”
“What are you laughing about?” P. J. asked when she came out of the bedroom buckling her belt.
“Brandi. She said to tell you to get your hands off me so I could get up to the class.”
P. J. took her lunch box out of the refrigerator. She always fixes her lunch the night before, just in case we are distracted in the mornings. “You read?” she asked coming out of the kitchen.
“Yeah,” I said, going to her and kissing her deeply. “I’m going to miss you tonight.”
“I know,” she said. “We’ve gotten quite spoilt to getting to spend so much time together.”
Nodding, I headed towards the door but stopped to kiss her again. Neither of us was into public affection. We really didn’t feel like there were people on campus who going to freak if they saw us kissing. It just wasn’t our thing to be real affectionate outside the privacy of our home.
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