I have to apologize to you all for taking so long in between installments, but I was working on the final edits for my new book Second Chances. Second Chances is a lesbian romance about two almost lovers who finally come together. I originally wrote it 12 years ago and it was funny reading it again and realizing how much things have changed in 12 years. The book is with Itoh Press right now and I'm waiting for an official release day, which I will post here as soon as I get the word. Until then, I hope you will enjoy this new installment to The Circle of Confusion: P. J.
Friday I was still on the high from the night Jamie and I had spent together at the hotel. I’m definitely going to have to start reading lesbian romances. Oh my God! Just thinking about all the things Jamie wanted to do to me is making me blush as I sit here in algebra.
I wasn’t paying attention when Lori walked in. She sat down in the chair next to me and grinned at me, “Happy memories?”
I blush crimson and Lori laughs, “I take it you and Jamie finally had some alone time.”
My blush deepens and I nod but can’t meet her eyes.
“Damn, that must have been quite an event for you to be blushing so hard about it.”
I leaned closer, but didn’t look at her. “She’s been reading lesbian romances and got a few new ideas.”
Lori let out a low whistle, and then says, “Lucky dog.”
The professor started class and we didn’t talk again until the end of class. Lori and I walked out together. “What about you,” I ask. “I can’t imagine someone as attractive as you are not having a girlfriend.”
Lori blushes. “Thank you, but it’s a lot harder to have a girlfriend when you have practice and games all the time. Not to mention psychotic parents who watch your every move.”
“You said something about your parents being religious before. Do they have any idea that you are gay?” I ask.
“Lord, no! And I have no intention of them finding out, at least not while I’m in school,” Lori says.
“So how do you get to be with anyone?” I ask.
“I don’t,” Lori replies. “Well, at least I haven’t since I started college.”
I look at her questioningly as we walk toward the exit of the building.
“I had a girlfriend in high school. She was my best friend and my parents never suspected we were lovers, but she got a softball scholarship to play at Murray in Tennessee and I got one to play here, so we ended up breaking up because it was too hard to maintain a long distance relationship,” she explains and opens the door for me as we exited the building.
“Bummer, man,” I say.
“Yeah, it sucks,” she says. “But, I’m focused on school and playing ball. I don’t have time for a girlfriend right now anyway.”
“I understand,” I say. “But it still sucks.”
Lori smiles at me and gives me a knuckle bump. “I’ll see you after fall break.”
Fall break! That’s right that was next week. I was taking Jamie home to her parents’ house in Barker Lake and I’d go home to spend time with my mom and stepdad. Thank God we were able to have Wednesday night at the hotel. We will probably hardly see each other before we come back the following weekend.
I can’t believe I forgot about fall break. It was the only thing I looked forward to as much as spending time with Jamie. School sucked and if it wasn’t for Jamie, I would not be going. I know everyone says that I’ll make more money with a college degree, but that’s hard to believe when my stepfather makes such good money at the factory and he barely has a high school education.
I honestly don’t expect to ever be a millionaire artist. I know my work is good, but there are so many other really good artists with the right connections. The fact of the matter is that I would have to move to a big city to make even decent money as a graphic artist, and that’s something I’m not interested in doing. I really don’t even know if I’ll go back to school next semester when my scholarship ends. I know that I will stay in Bowling Green so I can be close to Jamie, but I don’t know if I’ll continue in school.
Sighing, I look at my surroundings. I have to admit this is a beautiful campus with lots of beautiful flowers and bushes that are starting to show the signs of fall. I make my way to the building where I will have psychology with Jamie and observe the various colors and sizes of leaves that litter the ground as the leaves change and fall. This has always been a season of torment for me. I love the colors as an artist, but I always hated that it meant school time.
I see Jamie heading toward me and smile. She is the only reason for me being here. She is what makes my life make sense right now. What will happen in the future doesn’t matter as long as Jamie is a part of it.
“Hey,” she says, giving me a hug. She pulls back and looks at me, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I lie, “Just thinking that next week you’ll be at your parents’ house and I won’t get to see you much.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” she says lacing her arm through mine. “Mom and Dad will both be working. Your mom and Dave will both be working. We will have all morning and afternoon to be together.”
“I hadn’t thought about it like that,” I say.
“Oh, I have been thinking about,” she says pulling me closer and whispering, “You know it just occurred to me the other day that we have never made love in my bed at my parents’ house.”
I stop and look at her. “Have you lost your mind?”
Jamie laughs, “Calm down, my parents will be gone from nine in the morning until five in the evening. We’ll be able to make as much noise as we want.”
The image of Jamie’s mother walking in on us flashed before my eyes and I felt a panic attack coming on.
“Stop worrying,” Jamie says, giving me a tug, her blue eyes flashing with desire. “We won’t get caught.”
“You have really got to let me read the lesbian romances you are reading,” I say. “I think they might be having a bad influence on you.”
Jamie laughs, “Is my wanting to make love to you every day a bad thing?”
I look down at her heated gaze and make myself not kiss her. “No, it’s not a bad thing at all.”