Tuesday, November 13, 2012


P.J. greeted me at the door with a yawn. "Sorry," she said.

"It's early, I know but Jamie and I have to get to the volunteer center before nine," I said.

P.J. nodded. "She's in the shower. Coffee is made in the kitchen if you want some."

"Thanks." I headed to the kitchen and stopped short when I saw Lori standing at the counter in boxers and tanktop, fixing a cup of coffee. Groaning inwardly, I went into the kitchen. I had been drawn to Lori the first time we met, but I quickly found out that she was a player. I hated that my heart skipped a beat every time I saw her, but I couldn't help myself. She was beautiful with her long, chestnut colored hair, dark brown eyes and beautiful smile.

She turned to me and grinned. "Hey, Geek."

I smiled back. "Hey, Jock." The pet names had started within the first week we knew each other. When Lori figured out that I was a computer geek, she immediately gave me the nickname Geek. In response, I started calling her Jock.

I went to the cabinet and got out a coffee cup. Lori turned and looked at me. "What you guys volunteering for?"

"We are both teaching basic computer skills to a group of abused women."

"Fun," she said.

She went into the livingroom and I found my eyes looking at her tight butt and legs and she walked out of the room. I looked toward the ceiling, Lord help me not be so attracted to her, I thought to myself.

I put my usual two teaspoons of sugar and a teaspoon of creamer in my coffee. Jamie came out of the bedroom. She hadn't put on her make up yet so I figured we had at least another half an hour before we were going to leave. I looked at my watch.

"I know," she said. "I'm going to make us late. I slept in."

"It's cool. I know where the Learning Center is. I can call, Janis, the coordinator and let her know we'll meet them there."

"Would you?" Jamie asked. "I would really love to grab a bowl of cereal and put my make up on before we go."

"You look beautiful just the way you are," P.J. said, sliding her arms around Jamie from behind and kissing her on the cheek.

"You're biased," Jamie laughed and turned her head so she could kiss P. J. on the lips.

I slid past them into the livingroom and called Janis. Lori gave me a grin, knowing that I left the kitchen to give them some privacy. I got a hold of Janis and told her we would be running a little late, and then sit down in the chair next to the couch where Lori had her bed made up. "How's rooming over here going?"

Lori stretched out her long legs and threw her blanket over them. "Good. I don't get griped at daily. The only dishes I usually have to wash are mine and I haven't been forced to go to church once."

"Sounds good," I said.

She leaned towards me and whispered, "I do feel like a third wheel sometimes but I usually go to the library or something when I think they want to be alone."

I nodded. "What are you going to do in the long run?"

"I'm looking for a part-time job and I'm going to see I can find someone to room with."

P.J. came into the room and sat down on the loveseat. "You are not going to be able to work part-time and play softball, Lori. We told you not to worry about getting a place, you're fine here."

"I'm going to have to figure something out," Lori said. "I can't live here for the next three years."

P.J. nodded. "But, maybe we can get a two bedroom apartment for the same rent and you could have your own room."

"Thank you, but I would still be in the way. You guys are on your honeymoon," Lori protested.

"We want you here,"P. J. promised.

"That's right," Jamie said, coming in and kissing Lori on top of her head. "We love being able to help you. The most important thing is that you finish school."

"Right," P. J. agreed.

Lori dropped her head. "Okay, if you guys say so."

"We say so," Jamie said. She went around to the backside of the loveseat. P.J. turned toward her and Jamie kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'll see you guys this evening. Why don't we order pizza? We'll call Brandi and have her come over too."

"That sounds good," P.J. agreed. "You two have fun today."

"Yeah, right," I said, rolling her eyes.

When they were outside, Jamie asked, "Do you have a little thing for Lori?"

I blushed and looked away. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I saw the way you were checking her out when she wasn't looking."

My blush deepened. "She's very cute." She turned and grabbed Jamie's arm. "But please don't tell her. I am attracted to her but I'm not interested in becoming another notch on her bedpost."

Jamie nodded knowingly. "She does like to play the field a bit, doesn't she?"

"I think it's because she's terrified to really trust someone with her heart. I mean, her parents have thrown her out. Most of her family has turned her away." I shrugged. "I'd be the same way. Why take a chance on loving someone, when the people you've loved all your life have turned their back on you."

"I hadn't thought about it that way," Jamie said. "But I think you may be right."

Friday, November 9, 2012


I had feared this day would come. Here I am, packing a small amount of clothes to take with me to Jaime and P. J.'s and packing the rest of my stuff to go to storage.

When I had come home from Jamie and P. J.'s and tried one last time to talk to my mother about being gay, she had walked away. My father called me later on my cell phone and said that Mom had told him to tell me that I was either going to start dating men, or I was going to move out of her house. So it was official, I was being thrown out. Thank God, Jamie and P.J. had already told me I could bunk with them for awhile.

My sister, Amelia came into my room while I was packing. "This so sucks," she said.

"I know."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to stay with friends for awhile."

She twisted a strand of her long reddish brown hair around a finger, which was longer than mine by three inches and a shade lighter. "What about school?"

"I talked to my advisor, she said I was good for classes because of my scholarship. As long as I keep my grades up and stay on the softball team, all my classes will continue to be covered. But, housing isn't covered because Mom and Dad had turned it down originally, so I'll have to figure out a way to rent a place," I said.

Amelia sighed. "Maybe Mom will change her mind after you've left. Maybe she'll realize she's making a mistake. "

I took Amelia's hand in mine. "Do you think she's making a mistake?"

"Yes, I do," Amelia said. "I don't understand why you like girls but you are my sister and I love you no matter what. And, personally, my thinking on Jesus' teaching, is that we should love each other unconditionally, because He loves us unconditionally. But, I guess Mom doesn't read the same Scriptures that I do.

I hugged Amelia to me tightly. "I'm going to miss seeing you every day." I pulled back and looked at her. "You know you can come see me on campus or at Jamie and P.J.'s."

"I'll try to catch you on campus," Amelia said. "I'm sure Mom would have a cow if she found out I had gone to Jamie and P. J.'s apartment."

"Yeah, God forbid," I said sarcastically. "We might convert you."

Amelia laughed, "No chance of that. I'm hopelessly in love with men. Michael Carrington in particular."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

Amelia blushed. "Yeah, he asked me to go to the Homecoming dance with him."

"That's awesome!" I said giving her another hug. "You'll have to keep me updated of how that's going. Somehow I'll keep my phone on so you can text me or call me."

She leaned closer and whispered, "I think Dad plans on helping you with that and probably food money. I think he's angry about Mom doing this but he's too afraid of her to go against her."

I shook my head. "I don't know why he puts up with her but that would be awesome if he can. I just hope she doesn't find out about it and flip out on him."

Amelia got up and looked out the window, and then looked out the bedroom door to make sure their mother hadn't come home. She took out a wad of bills and pushed them into my hand. "It's from me and Dad. He said he will find a way to contact you. He knows Mom checks his phone and emails, but he'll figure out a way to get in touch with you."

I got up and picked up my phone. I texted P.J. to let her know I was ready to load the last of my stuff up. I hugged Amelia tightly. "Thank you for loving me just the way I am. I hope you always do."

"I will and the same goes for you," she said, squeezing me so tightly it almost hurt. "I'm sure I'll do stuff that will make Mom angry too, but I know that as long as I've got you as my sister, everything will be okay."

"That's right," I said. "We always have to have each other's back."

"And next year, I'll be on campus too so I'm sure we'll see a lot more of each other."

"So you've definitely decided on Western?" I picked up a box and headed towards the front door.

Amelia grabbed a box too. "Yeah,I finally decided to go into teaching and Western has one of the best teaching programs."

"Cool," I said. "I think you'll be a great teacher."

Amelia walked me out to the driveway, where P. J. buzzed in with her Jeep. She hopped out and grabbed the last of my boxes and put them in the backseat. I hugged Amelia tightly. "Call me when you can."

"I will," Amelia promised.

P. J. handed Amelia a piece of paper. "That has my phone number on it," she said. "If Lori's phone gets shut off you can call me and I'll make sure she gets to talk to you."

"Thank you," Amelia said, tears welling up in her eyes. "And thank you for letting Lori stay with you."

P. J. smiled and nodded. She got in the driver's seat and quickly backed out of the driveway. They pasted Lori's mother on their way out the subdivision. She glanced their direction, lifted her chin and looked away.

"I guess that's goodbye," I said, tears trickling down my cheek.

P.J. reached over and squeezed my hand. "Hopefully she'll come around."

"I highly doubt it," I said. "She's too far to the right to ever accept me being gay."

"Well, then, it's her loss. She'll miss out on being apart of all your accomplishments and successes."

I nodded and looked away. It wasn't like she had noticed my accomplishments in the first place. Nothing I had ever done had been good enough for her because I wouldn't be her perfect little Christian girl.